What’s normal?

Nearly all families deal with some sort of dysfunction at one time or another, yet most families retain or regain a sense of wholeness and happiness. These are normal life challenges and in most cases, you support and love one another and eventually you figure things out - together.

But some problems are difficult to handle and conflicts can arise.

Issues affecting one person in the household inevitably affect everyone in the family. When things get tough - whether from stress, anger, or grief - you and your loved ones might notice trouble cropping up at work, at school, or in everyday interactions with other people. This is typically when families start struggling with communication and conflicts start to occur.

When and how to seek help.

When it feels like the issues in your family are too big for you to handle and they aren’t getting better.

When one person's problems are impacting other family members or, when the family is contributing to a person’s difficulties, it can be challenging to move forward without assigning blame or feeling guilt. If you are feeling overwhelmed, sad and angry; when you’re unsure how to move forward; or when you feel like your family is repeating the same harmful behaviours over and over - it’s ok to ask for help.

Share this information with your doctor.

Physicians are often very good at helping you differentiate what is and isn’t normal, and can offer reassurance. Describe the issues that are concerning you, especially if your family is dealing with changes associated with illness, mental health, substance use problems, trauma, death and grieving. Your doctor will be able to offer an immediate course of action - including letting you know when working with a therapist is a necessary or a helpful course of action.

It’s going to be okay.

How does family therapy work?

The goal of family therapy is to help everyone in the family understand and support each other and work through difficult feelings in a safe space. Typically, the focus is on improving interactions and communications between family members. It is important that each person understand the impact of their words and behaviours on other members of the family. Family therapists will encourage everyone to talk about their experiences and listen to each other. Clarifying each person’s beliefs, values, needs, hopes and assumptions so that everyone understands each other and stops blaming each other. When each person feels supported, you can being exploring how you can work together to make positive changes in the family.

You are not a failure as a family if you need professional help.

We need to destigmatize the idea of mental health treatment. We will immediately address physical injuries or ailments (like a broken ankle, ear infection, etc.,) and get the appropriate medical care. But with emotional injuries or mental ailments (like grief, anxiety, depression, etc.,) there still seems to be a level of fear and shame in getting therapeutic support.

Family therapy can benefit family members of any age who are facing various experiences and challenges. Whether you are seeking a closer relationship with a family member or you are facing challenges such as mental or physical illnesses, family therapy can be beneficial. You and those you care about are worth the time and investment.