Do You Feel Like Giving Up?
Q&A with a Registered Social Worker
Managing stress and building resiliency during COVID-19
Mentally speaking we are all tired of this pandemic. We thought - just wait until summer, just wait until fall, just wait until the new year and things will be different, better, back to normal - but they’re not.
We interviewed Stefanie Peachey, a Registered Social Worker and Founder of Peachey Counselling and Family Support, to get her thoughts on how we can manage our stress and build resiliency in this unprecedented time of uncertainty.
Q: What kinds of issues are people facing (mental health wise) because of COVID-19, that they didn’t have to face before?
A: Everyone has a different experience with the pandemic, and as such, they will all cope with unique feelings. Some people feel happy they have more free time, and others feel overwhelmed with the world we live in. In the 9 months that we have been living with this pandemic, I’ve noticed some particular feelings that are quite unanimous in people today…
Experiencing the negative affects of ‘burnout’
For the parents – we’re not just working from home – we’re now living at work.
Since many parents are working from home now, it is difficult to find a balance of when to stop working. Because of the internet and increased technological connectivity, we are always able to ‘log on’ to our work. Although staying connected is important, its important to set boundaries for work that are similar to what it was like when you had to go to a physical location.
For those parents who have decided to homeschool their children – I commend you! Managing homeschooling while working from home is not easy and adds a lot of extra pressure on parents that they have never faced before.
Parents want to make sure that their kids are not feeling any negative affects from this pandemic. Trying to keep things happy and positive for your kids while you are struggling too, can be exhausting.
For those caring for elderly/compromised parents and those not able to see or visit with your parents, the added stress of worrying about their safety and wellbeing causes a never-ending loop of wondering when is nightmare going to be over.
Grieving over the time we have lost
Many individuals, young and old, are coming to the evident realization that the time that we have spent in this pandemic is time we will never get back.
Celebrating milestone birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, and even Christmas can look very different this year. All the traditions that we are used to partaking in with friends and family cannot happen this year. The right thing to do is not to gather – to celebrate things in away that we are not used to. This can be upsetting or discouraging. It is important to remember that life will not always be like this! We will conquer this pandemic!
Is there really a light at the end of the tunnel?
It feels dark inside the box that we are living in, and as the year draws to an end, there seems like there is no way out. People are wondering: “How long will life be like this?”
But remember - YES, there is a light at the end of this tunnel! Remaining hopeful is key to emotionally surviving the toll that COVID-19 has taken on our lives.
Q: What sorts of things should people be aware of when looking to combat these issues?
A: Some helpful strategies to make you feel more positive on a day-to-day basis is imperative. Find your silver lining in the life that we have been living for 9 months. Perhaps this could be recognizing and appreciating the extra time that you have with your kids, starting a new hobby you always wanted to pursue, having more time for yourself, or catching up on some shows you have always wanted to watch. Now is the time to slow down your social calendar, but be aware of how isolated you are.
Too much isolation can be problematic when we become fearful of the outside. Now, unlike any other time in our lives, meeting with friends can feels unsafe. It’s important that we don’t let this feeling become too normalized, so we don’t want to go back to the way things were.
When things feel really challenging – remember why we are doing it. By staying home, not seeing your friends and family, and being mindful of what precautions you should take, you are potentially saving someone else’s life. This can be a beneficial way to reframe your thinking – you are helping others by following guidelines and wearing a mask! You are benefiting society and the greater good! Thank you.
Q: How can we become more resilient to these experiences?
A: This question can be misleading—it may make people believe that they should be pre-equipped to deal with the pandemic. The truth is - we should never be able to deal with this experience. Very few people have experienced a pandemic on this global level, and we should not expect ourselves to feel equipped to deal with the feelings that we have towards it.
Do not think that you should be able to handle this all better than you are. Do not get mad at yourself! We are not built to manage this. How you feel is probably how most people are feeling as well. Everyone is struggling to some degree right now.
Q: Do you have any tips/strategies for managing mental health and staying positive?
A: There are a couple of things I could recommend in terms of regaining and maintaining your mental health…
Stay focused on what is in your control and take care of yourself! Focus on those smaller things that make you feel good. Getting enough sleep, catching up on movies you always wanted to watch, talking with friends over the phone – all of these things can help you to feel better while at home.
Even though it doesn’t feel this way, it is temporary. The COVID-19 pandemic will not last forever – you will not have to wear a mask for the rest of your life! There are people around the world working non-stop to get us back to normal. It will change and get better!
Q: What are some things that a social worker/therapist can do to help?
A: A therapist or counsellor can help to support clients in managing symptoms of anxiety/depression that are worsening because of the pandemic. They can spend some time focusing on our thoughts and how we view the world – adjusting your thoughts to find hope again. Being able to go to a safe and private place to vent your frustration/challenges and have someone to help you refocus can be very valuable.
Q: When do you think someone should reach out for professional help?
A: On the most basic level – when things feel so stressful and overwhelming that they are taking away from your day-to-day life, your relationships and your overall ‘happiness’. Sometimes you need someone - an impartial and supportive third party to give you specific strategies for change - someone who is just there for you.
Whatever it is, we’re here for you.
Life is uncertain. Jobs are stressful. Parenting is hard. Relationships take work. Families can be dysfunctional. And, sometimes love hurts. When you’re confronted by feelings, events, or issues that are making your life challenging, it’s okay to ask for some help.
