Dealing with Covid-19 During the Holidays
Q&A with a Registered Psychotherapist
Managing the stress of a ‘Covid-Christmas’
Does the idea of the 2020 holiday season make you want to cry? Even before the pandemic, the holiday season is known to be stressful time of year for a variety of reasons. But, this year, in true 2020 fashion, the added stress of having a ‘Covid Christmas’ is making it hard to feel that holiday spirit.
This week, we interviewed Patricia Ramos, a Registered Psychotherapist to get her thoughts on how to deal with the stress of COVID-19 this holiday season.
Q: We all know that the holiday season is meant to be a time of relaxation, but it often becomes a time of stress. Why does this happens?
A: The holidays can be emotionally complex for many people, even more during a pandemic. Feelings can range form pure joy and happiness to debilitating grief, loneliness and pain. Family dynamics can be extremely difficult as well. But it’s the build up to December 25th that is usually people’s biggest downfall instead of the arguments and strong emotions themselves. When we create expectations upon expectations about the holidays and how they should be - our minds and hearts are set on the perfect day - yet when things tumble from the expectation tree, we are the first to be hard on ourselves and feel hurt.
Q: Why do these conflicts come up year after year?
A: The holiday season often brings unwelcome memories, guests, self pressure, stress, anxiety and depression. And it’s no wonder as the holidays present a dizzying lineup of demands on our time and energy. Cooking meals, shopping, baking, cleaning and entertaining, to name just a few. And with COVID-19 spreading in our communities, we might be feeling additional stress, or we may be worrying about our families and loved ones’ health. We may also feel stressed, sad and anxious because our holiday plans may look different through this pandemic.
Q: How do you think COVID-19 will impact people and their mental health this holiday season?
A: There has been nothing usual about 2020. This year has been really hard on everyone, in more ways than one. Now, during a time that is traditionally about family, relatives and friends, we are being asked not to gather with one another. Isolation and loneliness, especially during holidays, or stressful times, can seriously deteriorate mental health and significantly impact our physical health over time. This year alone we have seen an increase of anxiety, anger, depression and divorce rates. If now you add in the holiday season, we can strongly predict an increase in what we call the “holiday blues.”
Consequently, today it’s more important than ever to stay connected to family, friends, and love ones, gathering virtually for the holidays using video conferencing tools like Zoom or FaceTime allowing us to still have a sense of togetherness, while keeping everyone safe.
Q: What are your tips for how people can stay cheerful this holiday season, even with all the restrictions on gathering?
A:
Acknowledge your feelings. Realize that it’s normal to feel anxiety, sadness, or grief. It’s okay to take time to cry or express your feelings. You cannot force yourself to be joyful just because it’s the holiday season.
Reach out. If you feel isolated or lonely, seek help. Whether it is friends, family or in your community. There are many websites, online support groups, social media sites or virtual events that can offer support and companionship.
If you’re feeling anxious or overwhelmed during the holidays, it could be helpful to talk to a psychotherapist or counsellor about your concerns. Try reaching out and book a video or phone session appointment.
Volunteering your time or doing something to help others also is a good way to lift your spirit and make new friendships.
Be realistic. Nothing about this year’s holidays is like last year’s. Choose to stay within you bubble and be open to creating new memories in different ways. You can find new ways to celebrate together such as: sharing pictures, emails or videos and meeting virtually on video calls. Even though your holiday plans may look different this year, you can find ways to celebrate - virtually.
Set aside differences. Remember we are in this together! Practice accepting family members and friends as they are, even if they don’t live up to your expectations. Set aside criticisms, grievances or complaints until a more appropriate time for discussion. Be patient and understanding if others get upset or distressed when something goes awry. Chances are they’re feeling the effects of pandemic’s holiday stress as well.
Stick to a budget.
Decide how much money you can afford to spend before you do your gift and food shopping and stick to your budget. Your kindness and love are worth far more then any gift that can be bought. Perhaps, instead, donate to a charity in someone’s name. There are lots of people in need during this pandemic.
Plan ahead.
Set aside specific days for shopping, cooking, baking, and connecting online with friends and family, and other activities.
Learn to say no.
Saying yes when you should say no can leave you feeling overwhelmed, regretful, or resentful. Family and friends will understand if you can’t participate in every activity whether in-person or online. And, if they don’t it’s there problem, not yours. You have nothing to feel guilty about when it comes to deciding what’s best for you and your mental health.
Keep healthy habits.
Don’t let the holidays become a free-for-all. Overindulgence only adds to your stress and guilt.
Make some time for yourself.
Take selfcare breaks. Spending just 15 minutes alone, without distractions, may refresh you enough to handle everything you need to do.
Seek professional help if you need it.
Q: What are some things that a social worker, counsellor or therapist can do to help?
A: We can listen, assist, and help you with compassion; from a nonjudgment standpoint. We can offer counselling support and tools from a research-based perspective to better manage complex emotions, conflicts, relationships and trauma. We are professionally trained to work with you, together, on your mental health.
Q: When do you think it’s time to seek help from a professional?
A: Anytime is good time to seek help from a professional psychotherapist or counsellor. The time to end mental health stigma is now. If despite your best efforts, you may find yourself feeling persistently sad, anxious, overwhelmed by physical complaints, unable to sleep, irritable and hopeless, and unable to face routine chores. If these feelings last for a while, talk to a psychotherapist, counsellor or your doctor.
One of the best takes away from this pandemic is that we are all equals, we are human beings, and we are in this together! This 2020, we have been inspired to look at our lives from a different perspective, from showing more compassion, and making changes with intention, to setting new boundaries or rethinking our relationships. At this point in the pandemic, I encourage everyone to reprioritize ourselves by taking care of our mental health and our loved ones’ mental health. And cherish our new ways of living by accepting that they serve us better than our old routines, at least for now.
Whatever it is, we’re here for you.
Life is uncertain. Jobs are stressful. Parenting is hard. Relationships take work. Families can be dysfunctional. And, sometimes love hurts. When you’re confronted by feelings, events, or issues that are making your life challenging, it’s okay to ask for some help.
