Us vs. Them: The Psychology Behind Canada’s Political Divide and Why It Feels So Personal
Let’s be honest—lately, even a casual scroll through the news or social media can leave your heart racing and your jaw clenched. Maybe you’ve had a family dinner derailed by a heated debate about carbon taxes, or you’ve muted an old friend on Instagram because their posts made your blood pressure spike. You’re not alone. Political tension isn’t just “out there” in the world—it’s getting under our skin, affecting our moods, our relationships, and even our mental health.
But why does it feel so personal? Why can’t we just shrug off political disagreements like we do with, say, debates over the best type of coffee or whether pineapple belongs on pizza? (Spoiler: It’s not just about the issues—it’s about how our brains are wired.)
Our Brains Love “Us vs. Them”
Turns out, humans are kind of like pack animals—we’re hardwired to form tribes. Back in caveman days, this kept us safe. Today? It means we instinctively categorize people as with us or against us, over things like vaccine mandates, housing policies and climate change.
Science says: Brain scans show that when we hear opinions we disagree with, our amygdala (the brain’s “alarm system”) lights up like a Christmas tree. It’s not just a disagreement—it feels like a threat.
Sound familiar? That flutter of anxiety when someone shares a meme supporting “the other side”? That’s your lizard brain kicking in.
Why Social Media Makes It Worse
It starts with a post—maybe about climate policy, healthcare, or taxes. Someone shares an opinion, and suddenly, the comments explode. What should be a discussion about ideas quickly turns into a personal war, where people aren't just disagreeing—they're questioning each other's:
Morals ("How can you care more about the economy than people's lives?")
Intelligence ("Only an idiot would believe that.")
Patriotism ("Real Canadians would never support this.")
Why It Happens
Social media rewards outrage and absolutes. Nuance gets drowned out by hot takes designed to provoke. Algorithms push the most divisive content because it keeps us clicking—even if it leaves us feeling angry, defensive, or exhausted. It’s like an echo chamber: if your feed is full of people who think exactly like you, it’s easy to assume everyone does—or that anyone who doesn’t is foolish or even evil.
The Mental Health Toll
Chronic Stress – Constant conflict keeps our nervous systems on high alert, leading to fatigue, irritability, and sleep problems.
Isolation – Many people start avoiding friends or family (online and offline) to dodge arguments.
Self-Doubt – Even if you don't engage, seeing others attacked for their views can make you second-guess sharing yours ("Will I be next?").
Emotional Whiplash – Scrolling through a feed that swings from fury to despair leaves many feeling emotionally drained.
Quick Tip: How to Disengage and Reset
When you feel a debate turning toxic:
Pause Before Replying – Ask yourself: "Will my comment change minds, or just escalate the fight?"
Mute or Unfollow – You don't owe anyone your mental energy. Curate your feed to prioritize calm.
Switch to Real Life – Close the app and do something grounding (a walk, deep breathing, calling a friend who doesn't debate politics).
Remember: Not Every Fight Is Yours – You can care deeply about issues without engaging in every argument.
When every debate becomes a moral showdown, we stop listening—and start seeing each other as enemies rather than fellow Canadians with different perspectives. The real casualty? Our collective mental health.
The Emotional Toll of “Right vs. Wrong”
Politics isn't just about policies anymore—it's become part of who we are. When someone criticizes "your side," it can feel like they're criticizing you. This deep emotional connection to our political views is why debates now leave us feeling bruised rather than simply disagreed with. Here's how this "right vs. wrong" mindset is taking a toll:
1. Relationships Are Suffering
The friendship fallout: A 2025 Pollara survey found that 1 in 3 Canadians have ended a friendship over politics. That’s not just unfollowing someone on Instagram—that’s real, meaningful connections lost because conversations became too heated.
Family tension: Holiday gatherings now come with unspoken "no politics" rules—because no one wants to relive last year’s blow-up over carbon pricing or healthcare funding.
Workplace awkwardness: Even watercooler chats feel risky. "Can I mention the election at all, or will HR get involved?"
2. Stress Overload: The Body Keeps the Score
When every political headline feels like a threat, our bodies react like we’re in real danger.
Fight-or-flight mode: Constant conflict (even just reading angry comments) floods your system with cortisol, leading to fatigue, irritability, and trouble sleeping.
The "doomscroll" hangover: Ever felt mentally exhausted after just 10 minutes on Twitter? That’s your brain on political stress.
Physical symptoms: Headaches, muscle tension, and even digestive issues can flare up when political anxiety runs high.
3. The Guilt Trap: "Should I Speak Up or Stay Silent?"
For many women, political stress comes with an extra layer of guilt.
The pressure to engage: "If I don’t call out this post, am I complicit?"
The fear of backlash: "If I speak my truth, will I lose friends or get piled on?"
The exhaustion of emotional labor: Women often bear the burden of keeping peace in group chats and family dynamics, which can feel like a second job.
At its core, this isn’t just about politics—it’s about belonging. When our views feel tied to our identity, disagreement can trigger a primal fear of rejection. That’s why a simple debate about tax policy can leave you feeling like you’ve been personally betrayed.
Quick Reality Check:
"Not every political disagreement is a moral crisis. It’s okay to care deeply—and it’s okay to step back when it’s too much."
How to Keep Your Cool in a Divided World
The good news? While our brains might be wired for division, we’re not doomed to live in a constant state of political stress. With a few mindful strategies, you can protect your mental health without disengaging from the issues you care about. Here’s how to take back control—
1.Name the Trigger (Before You React)
"When I see a post that makes my pulse race, I ask myself: ‘Is this worth my energy?’ 90% of the time, the answer is no."
Try this:
Pause and label the emotion: "I’m feeling defensive because this challenges my values."
Ask: "Is this a real threat to my safety or livelihood, or is my brain treating it like one?" "Am I mad at the person—or the algorithm that amplified this?"
Therapist Tip:
"Political anger often masks deeper fears—of change, loss, or irrelevance. Separating the issue from the emotion helps you respond, not react."
2. Rewire Your Feed (Without Guilt)
Problem: Social media thrives on outrage. Solution: Be ruthless about what you consume.
What worked for others:
Mute (don’t argue): "I muted my uncle’s posts. We still talk at birthdays, but now I’m not stressed all week."
Follow bridge-builders: Accounts like:
@CanadaTogether (profiles Canadians collaborating across divides)
@BetterPolitics (fact-based policy explainers without spin)
@GroundNewsCA (shows left/right coverage side-by-side)
Therapist Tip:
"Curating your feed isn’t ‘avoidance’—it’s self-care. You wouldn’t eat junk food all day; don’t consume junk media."
3. Find Common Ground Offline
Try this:
Swap stories, not insults: Ask: "What’s your biggest hope for Canada right now?" "What’s one local issue you wish got more attention?"
Channel anxiety into action: Join:
A community garden (Toronto’s GrowTO has waitlists—proof people crave connection)
A volunteer group (like Edmonton’s Food Bank, where politics fade beside shared purpose)
A non-partisan advocacy org (e.g., Equal Voice Canada for women in politics)
Therapist Tip:
"Real-life interactions activate the ‘calm’ part of your brain. Even small moments of connection—like chatting with a neighbor—counterbalance online chaos."
You don’t have to choose between caring and burning out. By naming your triggers, reshaping your feed, and seeking real-world connections, you can stay engaged without sacrificing your peace.
A Path Forward: Reclaiming Calm in Canada’s Divided Landscape
Political polarization isn’t just playing out on news channels or in Parliament—it’s in our heads, our homes, and our group chats. It shows up in the texts we hesitate to send, the family gatherings we brace ourselves for, and the way we scroll through social media with a mix of dread and compulsion. But here’s what we often forget: this divisiveness doesn’t have to control us.
Why Hope Isn’t Naive
Canada has weathered messy times before—from constitutional crises to cultural reckonings—and found ways to move forward. Our strength has never been about unanimous agreement, but about our capacity to listen, adapt, and find slivers of common ground.
Small shifts that make a difference:
Lead with curiosity, not conviction. Instead of asking, “How can you believe that?” try, “Help me understand your perspective.” You might still disagree, but you’ll humanize each other in the process.
Practice “selective engagement.” Not every battle is yours to fight. Save your energy for discussions where minds might actually change—or where your voice is truly needed.
Look for the “and.” Two things can be true: You can care deeply about climate action and empathize with a farmer worried about rising costs. Complexity is where progress lives.
Your Mental Health Is Non-Negotiable
Protecting your peace isn’t apathy—it’s sustainability. You can’t pour from an empty cup, especially when the issues we face are long-term fights.
Try this today:
Set a “political noise” curfew. No news or debates after 8 p.m. (Your nervous system will thank you.)
Find one unexpected ally. Reach out to someone with different views but shared values (e.g., a conservative mom who also advocates for mental health resources).
Ground yourself in what unites. Attend a community event—a food drive, a park cleanup—where shared purpose overshadows politics.
This isn’t about giving up or tuning out. It’s about showing up for what matters—without losing yourself in the noise. Canada’s story is still being written, and the next chapter depends not on our ability to shout louder, but to listen better. Your turn: What’s one small step you’ll take this week to rise above the divide?
Whatever it is, we’re here for you.
Life is uncertain. Jobs are stressful. Parenting is hard. Relationships take work. Families can be dysfunctional. And sometimes, love hurts. When you’re confronted by feelings, events, or issues that are making your life challenging, it’s okay to ask for some help.
