Self-Compassion Through Self Care
Q&A with a Registered Social Worker
This week, we interviewed Victoria Kulchytska, a Registered Social Worker here at Peachey Counselling and Family Support, to speak about feeling compassionate to yourself through self-care.
Q: What is self-compassion?
A: Compassion for oneself is a form of self-forgiveness and self-acceptance. In that, you're continuously learning how to be kind to yourself, "accepting yourself for the way you are," and giving your body, mind, and soul what it needs to thrive. It's learning how to set up boundaries, accept your limitations, make yourself a priority and not pushing yourself beyond your limits to meet the demands of today's world. It's about being brave enough to make yourself and your mental health a priority while acknowledging that it can be challenging to take a step back. Some may view it as weakness or selfishness. Remember that everyone makes mistakes and experiences difficulties at times; you're not alone in this.
"Self-compassion is warm and understanding towards ourselves when we suffer, fail or feel inadequate."
Q: What is self-care?
A: Self-care essentially means to set aside time that is meaningful for yourself to re-charge. It's about implementing a practice that enables you to preserve your mental and physical health to ensure you are functioning at your best. It is a crucial step to consider as you take on your day and prevent burnout throughout the workweek.
Q: How can we implement self-care into our daily routines?
A: Self-care can mean many different things to different people. It may involve solo activities such as participating in mindfulness exercises for some. For others, it may mean encouraging teamwork participation, such as going to a spin class. Of course, this is mainly dependent on what your mental health needs are at that moment. One myth about self-care is that it must be reserved or planned out for a grand occasion.
However, there are many ways to implement meaningful routines into our everyday life. For example, personally, I like to participate in self-care by curating a morning routine or ritual that I complete every day. It typically consists of performing a skincare routine, enjoying a cup of coffee, exercising in some way, engaging in meditation, or starting a to-do list for the day. This allows me to get a head start to the day with a feeling of accomplishment, making my overall mindset more productive. Also, it lets me focus on my intentions and not divert all my attention to my phone first thing in the morning!
Here are some things you can do for yourself every day:
Nourish yourself by making your favourite meal.
Practice mindfulness.
Keep track of your feelings in a journal.
Give yourself plenty of encouragement.
Take some time to be still and "disconnect" digitally.
Walk in the park, connect with nature, and enjoy the sun.
Spend time with family or pet.
Read that book you've been putting off, or get creative!
Make your living space more welcoming.
Move your body.
Open yourself up to new experiences.
Make sure to nourish your mind and soul as much as you do your body.
Learn to celebrate your successes no matter how small.
Take a minute to appreciate all the progress you have made for the day.
Don't forget to get plenty of ZZZ's and drink up your water!
Q: What are some myths about self-care?
A: There are a lot of myths about taking care of yourself. In reality, it is an absolute necessity for maintaining your physical and mental health.
MYTH: Self-care is an indulgence
Self-care is essential to preserve your body and mind and ensure that you can perform and reach your goals the way you hope to. It can be as simple as making meaningful intentions and mindful changes in your thoughts and behaviour patterns that contribute to your wellbeing.
MYTH: Self-care is selfish
When you take the time to care for yourself, you will feel more invigorated and capable of doing more for yourself and those around you.
MYTH: Self-care is an "on occasion" type of experience
Looking after yourself is an ongoing practice in building resiliency to face hardships and preventing burnout, depression, and despair.
MYTH: Self-care is time-consuming
Self-care doesn't need to take up your entire day. It can be as simple as making meaningful intentions and mindful changes in your thoughts and behaviour patterns that contribute to your wellbeing.
Q: What are some challenges with self-compassion and self-care, especially since the pandemic began?
A: Over the past couple of years, many individuals have experienced a considerable change in pace regarding their everyday lives.
This change of pace has led to some individuals feeling very different about their work/life balance. There has also been a change in accepting ourselves and how we do it. Things are constantly adjusting, whether policies and procedures related to COVID are evolving or we experience our kids go from online learning to in-person school. As a result, a lack of consistency affects how we treat ourselves and prioritize self-care.
In a world where many aspects of life are already stressful, demanding, and emotionally draining, a sense of despair may take over that may infiltrate your mind of negative messages diminishing your self-worth, especially during a pandemic. At this point, one may find it challenging to be self-compassionate.
Q: How does GirlTalk, our self-esteem program for girls, speak to these themes?
A: Learning and understanding the importance of your mental health early on will lead to a solid foundation to become a resilient, emotionally attuned individual who can effectively manage stressful situations. Young women in the age group of 10-14 years are a particularly vulnerable population when it comes to an understanding one's own emotions and accepting yourself for the way you are. Unfortunately, many will already have experiences where their opinions, thoughts, or feelings are invalidated. They are told to suppress their emotions instead. Sadly, doing this sends the message of young girls being " too sensitive" or "too dramatic.
While entering the period of their life when they are confronted with a whole range of new emotions and messages surrounding ideals, they may need guidance, validation, and support to help them navigate and make sense of these new experiences. This is what the goal of our GirlTalk group is hoping to achieve. The group aims to promote acceptance, how to take care of your mental health in a mindful manner, challenge negative thoughts, redefine your relationship with your body, and teach how to be aware of your mental health.
Whatever it is, we’re here for you.
Life is uncertain. Jobs are stressful. Parenting is hard. Relationships take work. Families can be dysfunctional. And, sometimes love hurts. When you’re confronted by feelings, events, or issues that are making your life challenging, it’s okay to ask for some help.
