Taking a Break From the Holidays
Q&A with a Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying)
As the holidays approach, many are met with a wide array of emotions, feelings, and expectations.
We chatted with Merwa Amer, a Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying) at Peachey Counselling to discuss the feelings associated with this time of year and how we can take a break from the holidays and prioritize ourselves.
Q: What are some of the mental health challenges that people face over the holidays?
A: The holidays are an exciting time for almost everyone filled with joy and celebrations. However, it can also bring difficult emotions to many people such as sadness, grief, anxiety, loneliness, and exhaustion. The holidays can impact mental health in different ways such as financial pressure, lack of time commitment, and even family gatherings can be overwhelming for some.
Q: Why do these challenges come up year after year at this same time for some people?
A: These challenges come up year after year at the same time for some people because it may create triggers. While yes, the holiday season is merry for some, however, some individuals may not notice that they are not feeling very joyous due to possible past experiences of uncomfortable situations and emotions around the holidays, i.e. conflicts, pressure, grief and missing loved one (s), loneliness, exhaustion, etc.
Q: We all know that the holiday season is meant to be a time of relaxation, but it often becomes a time of stress. Why does this happen?
A: Relaxation and stress are two common words around the holiday time. Why stress through a holiday?! It is like a chain reaction. It can be because sometimes the stress could come from pressure. The pressure can come from the need to take time- off work, financial pressure, gift expectations, and the pressure of family gatherings.
Q: Is it wrong to feel overwhelmed during a joyous time?
A: It is OKAY to NOT be OKAY in the holidays! The feeling of overwhelm is a natural emotion as a response to a situation that is causing stress. It is completely validating to feel overwhelmed even in a joyous time mentally, emotionally, and even physically.
Also, let us not forget that we are yet again, approaching the holidays in a pandemic! This can look very different than in the past. So do keep in mind, that you are not alone when experiencing the holiday blues!
At times, some individuals do not celebrate holidays or gather with loved ones during the month of December. This could yet again, lead to the feeling of overwhelm. Let us not forget, that it is very valid to experience emotions. Some individuals for instance are used to specific family traditions, and due to the loss of a loved one, the holidays are simply not the same leading to a shift of emotions, i.e. sadness, loneliness, anger, etc.
Q: Once the new year comes around, what can individuals do to get out of holiday mode and back to ‘reality’?
A: After all the presents are unwrapped, candy canes are gone, and the delicious food is finished, and it is that time to take the pretty lights and the Christmas tree down, you may notice post-holiday blues to set in. It is no surprise that after a joyous and stressful overwhelming holiday time, some individuals experience symptoms of low mood as they transition back to reality. For example, returning to work, school, paying off credit card bills due to holiday expenses, or even noticing extra holiday weight.
To combat holiday mode, focus on re-establishing routines step by step and as soon as possible. If you have children, make sure everyone goes to bed on time. To cut down on morning stress, have lunches packed the night before, and outfits ready.
Another way is to balance. Take time and balance your priorities whether it is family, work, school, or self-care. It is important not to push yourself too hard. You can also set goals. If you do set goals, make sure they are realistic goals for you to accomplish and that can also be maintained! Remember each and every single day is a new chance!
Q: What are some things a therapist can do to help? When is the right time to see a professional?
A: Therapy helps to focus on you. To cope through a difficult time that could be leading to uncomfortable emotions. It might be the right time to see a professional when noticing there is an impact on yourself, and maybe those around you. That you notice your overall quality of life has been impacted and you are not living it the way you want. Sometimes, individuals require help managing stress, or having difficulties regulating emotions, and need help with healthy coping mechanisms. It is important to take time, and check in with yourself. Help is out there when, and if, you need it. You are not alone.
Q: Do you have any helpful tips for people this holiday season?
A: I think it is very important to validate the emotions that you are experiencing. Validate if you are exhausted mentally, physically, and emotionally as you are not alone. Slow down, take a deep breath, and take time for yourself even if it is 15-30 minutes a day. Give yourself permission and acknowledge what you are experiencing mentally, physically, and emotionally.
It is important to be mindful and aware that you are not alone… that many individuals out there are struggling, even in the most joyous time and this is not considered as a weakness. Your resilience is beyond your imagination!
Whatever it is, we’re here for you.
Life is uncertain. Jobs are stressful. Parenting is hard. Relationships take work. Families can be dysfunctional. And, sometimes love hurts. When you’re confronted by feelings, events, or issues that are making your life challenging, it’s okay to ask for some help.
