The Importance of Teaching Self-Love to Your Kids
How to give your child the confidence they need…
The word “love” gets thrown around so much but we need to make sure that children have a clear grasp of the meaning of love and that true love begins with themselves.
If a child is not taught the importance of being good to themselves, or doesn’t have any role models for self-love, they may be more likely to put up with mistreatment and abuse from others. As parents, teaching self-love to our kids allows them to set their boundaries, fulfill their goals, and create healthy relationships with themselves and the people around them. Here’s how…
What is self-love?
Positivity towards oneself is known as self-love. Self-love is all about appreciating and accepting all aspects of who you are. This includes your positive and negative traits, your strengths and weaknesses, and what makes you unique.
Self-love is caring for your physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing. Self-love comes from treating yourself with kindness, respect, and compassion. It’s also about practicing self-acceptance, establishing healthy limits, and having confidence in your own abilities and worth.
Self-love is not the same as being selfish, egotistical, or arrogant. Self-love is about coming to terms with your wants and desires, having a healthy and balanced connection with yourself, and making decisions that promote your wellbeing, growth and enjoyment in life. Self-love is crucial to general wellbeing because it makes us feel confident and in control of our lives.
Why is it important to teach self-love to children?
As a parent, you can position your child(ren) for success in all facets of their lives by assisting them in growing a positive sense of self-worth. Encouraging our kids to love themselves can have significant positive effects on their growth and wellbeing including:
Creating a positive self-image: Children who learn to love and accept themselves are more inclined to do so, which can increase their confidence and self-esteem. This may benefit their mental health and general wellbeing.
Building resiliency: Children are better able to handle difficulties and disappointments when they have a strong feeling of their own worth and self-love. They are more inclined to overcome setbacks and keep going when things get tough.
Promoting healthy connections: Children who have a strong sense of self-worth are more likely to have positive relationships with others. They are less prone to put up with abuse or sacrifice their own needs for others' approval.
Encouraging self-care: Children who take care of their physical, mental, and emotional well-being by participating in self-care activities, are more inclined to put their needs first and choose actions that will be good for them in the long run.
Fostering empathy and compassion: Children who are taught to accept and love themselves are more likely to do the same for others. They are more likely to treat people with kindness and respect and are less likely to criticize or judge them.
Increasing the likelihood of having a growth mentality: Children with a positive self-image are more likely to have a growth mentality and as a result, are more willing to experiment, accept difficulties, put up their best effort, and handle setbacks and failures more effectively. They experience less stress and are less hesitant to ask for assistance as a result.
What are some of the consequences of children growing up with low self-esteem and feelings of low self worth?
Having poor self-esteem and feelings of unworthiness as children can have a variety of negative effects on their growth and wellbeing. Here are a few possible outcomes:
Social difficulties: Children who have poor self-esteem may avoid social situations or have a hard time making friends, which can cause feelings of loneliness and isolation.
Academic difficulties: Low self-esteem can also have an impact on a child's academic performance because it might make it difficult for them to participate in class or take on difficult assignments.
Mental health problems: Anxiety and depression are frequently linked to low self-esteem, and children who experience these disorders may struggle with low self-worth as a result.
Risky actions: Children with poor self-esteem may take risky actions to get attention or deal with unpleasant feelings. This can involve irresponsible driving, risky sexual behaviour, and drug and alcohol usage.
Negative body image: Low self-esteem can cause a person to have a bad self-image, which can have long-term effects on a person's confidence and sense of worth.
Bullying: Children with poor self-esteem may have trouble establishing boundaries and standing up for themselves, which can leave them open to bullying and other forms of abuse.
Poor decision-making: Children who lack self-confidence may struggle to make choices because they may mistrust their skills or second-guess themselves.
“Parents need to fill a child’s bucket of self-esteem so high that the rest of the world can’t poke enough holes to drain it dry…”
ALVIN PRICE
How parents can help children develop self-love
Teaching your child about self-love is not as complicated as it may seem. Here are some ways you can help you can help your kids develop self-love, broken down by age groups:
TODDLERS AND PRESCHOOLERS
Model self-love: Since kids learn by watching, it's crucial for parents to exhibit self-love and self-care in front of their young children. Children cannot learn what you do not understand yourself. One of the main factors influencing how children develop is parental behaviour. If you consistently show yourself love and attention, your child will do the same.
Use constructive criticism: Reinforce your child's efforts, successes, and positive traits. Encourage them to think about their talents and strong points instead of focusing on ‘mistakes’ or ‘perfection’.
Encourage discovery: Give your child the chance to pursue their skills and interests through age appropriate activities including learning toys, sensory objects, active play, etc., They will develop a sense of confidence and competence as a result.
Encourage independence: Give your child the freedom to decide age-appropriate things (like dressing or food) for themselves and find solutions to issues on their own. They will feel more empowered and self-sufficient as a result.
Show unconditional love: Let your child know that they are loved unconditionally, regardless of their actions or mistakes. There’s never too many hugs, kisses and affirmations to be shared.
CHILDREN
Encourage your child to adopt a growth mindset: Show them that ‘mistakes’ can be used to learn from them and that intellect and skills can be acquired through hard work.
Encourage your child to express themselves: Let them explore creative pursuits through art, music, writing, or other artistic means by providing them with opportunity to do so.
Promote self-care: Encourage your kids to adopt healthy behaviours like getting enough sleep, eating well, and exercising. Talking about their emotions and using relaxation techniques can help them maintain their emotional health. Children can practice self-care by:
Eating a healthy snack
Drinking a glass of water
Going for a walk
Playing with friends
Taking a bath
Listening to their favorite song
Reading a book
Drawing a picture
Talking to a family member or a friend about their day
Taking a nap
Foster positive relationships: Encourage your child to build positive relationships with others, and help them develop healthy communication and conflict resolution skills.
Discuss values: Help your child develop a sense of identity and purpose by discussing your family's values and encouraging them to think about what is important to them.
TWEENS
Encourage self-reflection: Help your tween develop self-awareness by encouraging them to reflect on their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Ask them questions about their experiences and offer non-judgmental support.
Build resilience: Help your tween develop resilience by teaching them coping skills and helping them practice problem-solving and decision-making.
Foster independence: Give your tween opportunities to take on more responsibility and make decisions on their own. This can help them build a sense of autonomy and self-confidence.
Discuss self-image: Talk with your tween about body image and media messages, and help them develop a positive and realistic self-image.
Encourage goal-setting: Help your tween set realistic goals and work towards achieving them. This can help them build a sense of purpose and accomplishment.
Support constructive self-talk: The definition of self-love is treating oneself as one would a friend. We can educate kids to talk to themselves positively by modelling how they would speak to a friend—always with love. Help them to console, inspire, and praise themselves.
TEENS
Respect their independence: Give your teen space to make their own decisions and mistakes, while still providing guidance and support AND without taking over!
Discuss identity: Encourage your teen to explore their identity and sense of self, and be open to their changing views and perspectives.
Teach self-advocacy: Help your teen develop assertiveness and self-advocacy skills, so they can advocate for themselves and make their own choices.
Encourage community involvement: Help your teen get involved in activities that align with their interests and values, and encourage them to give back to their community.
Promote self-care: Teach your teen the importance of self-care, including physical, emotional, and mental self-care practices.
“You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”
CHRISTOPHER ROBIN
Each child is unique and may require different strategies to foster self-love and self-esteem.
Parents should remember that instilling self-love takes time. Like other crucial life skills, learning takes time and repetition for kids. Therefore, it is wise to begin at a young age at home. We hope the tips we have provided here can be a starting point for you, but it's important to listen to your child and tailor your approach to their needs and strengths.
Whatever it is, we’re here for you.
Life is uncertain. Jobs are stressful. Parenting is hard. Relationships take work. Families can be dysfunctional. And, sometimes love hurts. When you’re confronted by feelings, events, or issues that are making your life challenging, it’s okay to ask for some help.
