Men and Mental Health
Q&A with a Registered Psychotherapist
DID YOU KNOW?
In high-income countries, three times as many men as women die by suicide, according to a World Health Organization (WHO)Trusted Source report from 2018. This week, we interviewed Chris Martin, a Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying) here at Peachey Counselling and Family Support, to talk about men and mental health.
Q: What kind of mental health struggles can men experience?
A: Although it may seem that men may struggle with a lesser amount of mental health issues than women, this is not the case. Men can battle with a variety of mental health challenges. Mental health struggles are very unique and situational in nature. For example, men may struggle with varying mental health issues depending on what they are experiencing in their lives. Young men, fathers, men who are going through a separation or divorce, men who have experienced the loss of a loved one, men battling the scars of childhood trauma – no one situation is the same, so no mental health challenge is ever the same either.
Some factors that can exacerbate the internal struggle that men have with mental health is the stigma that surrounds men reaching out for help. If you have seen some of our recent Instagram posts, you will have noticed that we have been making posts surrounding the “man-up” stigma. Unfortunately, this stigmatization is all too present in men’s lives and causes them to feel like they need to “man-up” and ignore any worries they may have, or any internal stressors they are coping with. The pressure to “man-up” creates an invisible barrier for men, that can often be a gateway to depression.
Q: Why do you think that men are less likely to speak to or confide in someone about their mental health?
A: Again, it has to do with the invisible pressures that men feel on themselves. Societal and familial influences that men don’t cry or show weaknesses may cause a man to internalize his problems, and not feel safe to seek help or confide in someone about their problems. For example, a man may have extreme stress in his job and be very unhappy. He may be debating a career change that will lead to a lowering of household income while he re-establishes his career. The resounding phrase may pass through his head: “It’s my job to provide for my family.” This invisible pressure may cause a man to not seek out guidance or help for his dilemma, and instead he may continue to work in a job that he despises.
It is easier said than done, however. Prioritizing your own wellbeing helps you to become a better parent, son, and partner.
Q: What are some ways that men will cope with their mental health that are different than women?
A: Men are often more likely to withdraw or internalize their concerns or worries. This can relate (as I mentioned before) to masculinity and the perception they have on their own masculinity. There is also a societal view that women talk more about mental health issues than men do. Women are often thought to talk more openly about their emotions with friends and family, whereas men often do not participate in this behaviour – especially to other men.
Where women may express sadness and despair as a symptom of depression or depressed mood, men may become irritable or angry. Likewise, men are likely to develop unhealthy coping mechanisms like drug or alcohol dependencies.
*Want to know more? Read: ‘Man up’ is not the answer
Q: What kind of barriers exist that prevent men from seeking help?
A: Here in Canada, I think we are fortunate in our ability to say that there are minimal physical barriers to men seeking help for mental health concerns. The barriers that we often see are manmade, the result of introspection and rumination about what society, friends, or family will think of you. This often occurs because of messaging that carries with us from childhood. For example, men may have had parents who stressed the idea to them that, as a man, they have to be strong, or be a fighter. Reaching out for help for a seemingly “invisible problem” like mental health can go against this narrative. Seeing a therapist or doctor for mental health concerns requires a degree of vulnerability that many men struggle with.
Q: How do you think the pandemic has affected men’s mental health?
A: The pandemic has affected everyone in many ways, and men are no exception. I mentioned before that men are often more likely to feel like they need to provide for their families or be the primary “breadwinner” in their households. The pandemic has affected this in exorbitant ways. Men who were laid off, or have had to find alternate routes to employment may have experienced a decrease in income that affected their self-esteem. Suddenly, the ability to provide monetarily is reduced or destroyed.
Likewise—and this doesn’t apply to only men—the gym being closed may have affected men’s mental health and their perceptions of worthiness, now that maintaining a “manly” physique is increasingly difficult. Some men may also use fitness as an escape, and now this coping strategy has been removed.
Q: Do you have any tips for parents of young boys/men – how can parents foster a supportive attitude about men’s mental health?
A: Normalize conversations about mental health.
Model discussions about emotions and vulnerabilities in your household.
Break the narrative of toxic masculinity
Refrain from using phrases such as “man up,” “boys don’t cry,” “boys will be boys,” and “stop acting like such a girl.”
Make yourself available to your son when you feel that he may be struggling with mental health issues – practice active listening.
Strike a balance between being curious & helpful and being overbearing & intrusive.
Overbearing and intrusive conversations can lead to internalization of feelings.
Q: How can friends/family support men who are dealing with mental health issues?
A: As a family or friend of a man going through a mental health issue, remember that offering support and being empathetic can go a long way in making someone feel accepted. Normalize conversations about mental health in your social circle, but in a non-pressured, open manner.
Q: In what ways is it beneficial to see a therapist?
A: Many of the stigmas that are associated with men's mental health can be debilitating and disheartening. They can lead men to depression and substance abuse issues and can destroy normal functioning and self-esteem. Seeing a therapist about these issues can be extremely helpful in breaking apart these stigmas and understanding the root cause of behaviours. Therapists can offer support and guidance in navigating these mental health issues.
Whatever it is, we’re here for you.
Life is uncertain. Jobs are stressful. Parenting is hard. Relationships take work. Families can be dysfunctional. And, sometimes love hurts. When you’re confronted by feelings, events, or issues that are making your life challenging, it’s okay to ask for some help.
