How to Nurture Your Child’s Mental Health
Q&A with a Registered Social Worker
Image by: Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash
This week, we interviewed our Peachey Counselling and Family Support team member, Registered Social Worker, Melissa Persadie, about how to nurture your child’s mental health.
Q: How common are mental health problems amongst children and youth?
A: Unfortunately, mental health problems in children is more common than you might think. According to Children’s Mental Health Ontario, youth suicide rates are on the rise. Similarly, 70% of mental health concerns have their onset during childhood. Approximately 1 in 5 children and youth (under age 18) in Ontario have a mental health concern.
And, the onset of child and youth mental health concerns have been exacerbated by Covid-19.
Research from Sick Kids published in February 2021 shows that children experienced harm to their mental health during the first wave of Covid-19.
Changes in school, virtual learning, and social isolation have been shown to be greatly linked with negative implications for mental health.
Overall children have been impacted in different ways by the pandemic and each child has a different reaction in how they cope with it. For some children being at home and then having to return to school deteriorated their mental health whereas for others not being the classroom had a negative affect for them. It really depends on your individual child. However, there is no doubt that where there were mental health problems in children 10 years ago, those problems have only become amplified given our current situation.
Q: How do I know if my child has a mental health problem?
A: If you suspect that your child may be suffering from a mental health problem, take them to their family physician/pediatrician. This doctor will either provide you with a diagnosis or refer you to a clinical psychologist or psychiatrist. A diagnosis by a family physician, psychologist, or psychiatrist will inform you if your child has an identifiable mental health disorder. It is important to have conversations about positive and negative mental health, about feelings and coping strategies to normalize discussion around mental health with your children. This also allows for them to come to you when they do not feel their best and allows you to seek the right professional help that they need to function and develop the best way possible.
Important things to pay attention to are feelings of sadness or being withdrawn, difficulty with transitions or changes, talk about self-harm or suicide, sudden onset or fear or feelings of anxiety, onset of aggressive behaviour, difficulty in concentrating, mood swings, drastic changes in personality or mood, use of drugs or alcohol. If you notice any of these behaviors, consider speaking with a professional about the best course of action for your child.
Q: How can I nurture my child’s mental health?
A: This is a loaded question and is something that parents can work on their child’s whole life. There are many things that parents can try to assist in to ensure that they are providing the best support they can to their child. I would say that, if you can and depending on your child’s age, encourage conversations surrounding healthy relationships (both romantic and platonic), the importance of self-esteem, having an open dialogue about emotions that your child may be experiencing, and being non-judgmental. By doing this, you can provide your child with a safe space to discuss their feelings – YOU!
Talking about all these valuable topics works at normalizing these discussions, and makes your child feel supported. However, being persistent with your child and the way that they respond to you. You may try to approach your child and they reject your advances. Remember that this process does not happen overnight. Be mindful that mental health is multidimensional and complex and there is not always a “one-size fits all” approach to it nurturing it. Having help from a registered social worker, therapist, counsellor, psychologist or psychiatrist may be necessary – but also remember that this help is not a poor reflection of your child or your parenting.
Q: I find it difficult to talk to my child about their mental health. Do you have any tips for opening this conversation?
A: A big part of supporting your child is talking about mental health even when there is not a crisis and there isn’t any thing wrong. Talking about positive coping strategies without judgement is important. You can open a conversation by trying the following things…
Ask questions and show interest in things that are important to your child.
Using a neutralized tone without judgement is really important.
Texting with older children or using art or drawing with younger children might be helpful.
Resist the urge to fix right away and listen to your child.
Stay calm and non-judgmental can help your child understand that you are there for them.
Q: What if my child rejects my help?
A: As I mentioned before, your child may still want help even if they resist. They may not understand what is going on and may try to cope with this by rejecting any advances from you. Let them know that it is okay if they do not feel comfortable and offer the option to speak to another safe and trusted adult.
Q: What are some things that a social worker, counsellor or therapist can do to help?
A: A mental health professional can help families and parents discuss concerns about their child and other external factors that may be affecting their child (i.e. school, bullying, family separation). They can provide education regarding positive mental health coping strategies and through counselling can help the child to learn how to better cope with their mental health concerns. Sometimes a structured therapy modality may be implemented where other times different aspects of evidence-based therapy models may be used.
Q: When is it time to see a professional?
A: If you notice that your child’s mood or behaviour is affecting their day-to-day life is usually a good indication. There is not a right or wrong time to seek professional help. If notice changes in your child and feel like you need assistance addressing them or communicating with them or even if it’s an inquiry you can always see a professional.
Whatever it is, we’re here for you.
Life is uncertain. Jobs are stressful. Parenting is hard. Relationships take work. Families can be dysfunctional. And, sometimes love hurts. When you’re confronted by feelings, events, or issues that are making your life challenging, it’s okay to ask for some help.
