Body Image, Self-Esteem and Mental Health
Q&A with a Registered Social Worker
How do you see yourself when you look in the mirror or when you picture yourself in your mind? Are you happy with your appearance? Do you feel comfortable with your body, including your height, shape and weight? Many of us would probably say “no, I wish I had whiter teeth, longer hair, fuller lips, clearer skin, a flatter stomach….” And, these thoughts are more common than you think. You’re not the only one out there thinking this. In fact,
“ 1 in 3 women are dissatisfied with their body.”
- The Dove Self-Esteem Project
This week, we interviewed our Peachey Counselling and Family Support team member, Registered Social Worker, Kate Brockbank, about body image, self-esteem and mental health.
Q: What are body image issues and how do they relate to self-esteem and mental health?
A: In general, body image issues have to do with your perception of yourself and typically arise from comparative behaviors to some outside notion of beauty. This outside notion could include social and cultural influences, comments from people around you, or even from your family. An interesting feature of body image is that it is a universal issue felt by everyone as they grow and age, but it is still a problem that is unique to each individual. It transcends gender and age. Our perceptions of our body’s affect how we view ourselves, but also causes us to project our harmful thoughts onto others. We doubt whether people like us or if we are attractive.
Children usually do not feel the impact of social pressures on body image until they hit their pre-teens. In most cases, there is a shift in socialization from the familial unit to the peer group. Most pre-teens care more about what their friends think of them then what their parents do. This is a pivotal period where our self-esteem takes hold and sets the foundation for the rest of our lives.
Q: What causes these challenges / disorders?
A: Many aspects of life can cause individuals to suffer from body image issues or body dysmorphia. Culture and social interactions are the largest factor. The popular culture that your pre-teen/teen consumes is a massive influence on their perception of themselves. Diet and beauty culture, as well as bullying can all play a massive role in shaping a young person’s self-esteem. Children will define what they consider to be beautiful by looking at popular media depictions of bodies. This could be from the movies they are watching (for example: Disney Princesses) and from influencers on social media platforms.
Although I have referred to these topics as important for young adolescents, they are no less important in adults. Many adults carry with them the effects of this negativity, and it continues to shape their outlook on life for many years to come.
Q: Are these challenges / disorders specific to women?
A: Body image issues are felt by everyone, regardless of their gender. There is often additional emphasis placed on body image for women because of the rigorous and unrealistic beauty standards that women are held up to. However, men are also affected by body dysmorphia. The “perfect” male body types are perpetuated by popular culture, desiring for a man with a tall, lean build. Women feel like they must strike the balance between being thin, but not too thin. The ideals of masculinity and femininity can crush an individual’s self-esteem if they feel that they are not fulfilling these ideals. These attitudes will carry with them throughout their lives.
As I mentioned before, these sentiments are often fostered in early development. Parents have a great deal of influence in ensuring that their child has a positive outlook on their body. Parents have the opportunity to correct their child on any negative viewpoints, or harmful ideologies on what is “masculine” and what is “feminine.” The role of positive parenting in this arena is essential to ensuring that future generations feel confident and happy in their bodies.
Q: What are the specific issues and challenges that arise from negative body image and self-esteem?
A: Body dysmorphia can carry with it a variety of unwelcome side-affects.
This could include…
In the words of Brene Brown, body image issues can negatively impact “how you enter the arena.” If your self-esteem has taken a hit because of negative self-talk surrounding your appearance, it can affect how you start school and how you navigate your career. If unimpeded, it will most likely carry with you throughout life.
As you move through your life, you may develop a cultural aversion to aging – you may have a fear of looking older or gaining weight, as the body’s metabolism becomes less active with age.
If you are a female, body dysmorphia may affect your decision to have children. The culture around “losing the baby weight” could cause you to feel excessively stressed and aversive to having a child. In many popular magazines and on social media, it is headline news that women should aspire to losing post-partum weight in an unrealistic timeframe.
Q: Are are the implications of these issues?
A: If the negative feelings associated with body dysmorphia are perpetuated it can lead to an increased likelihood of anxiety and depression, and in some case, thoughts of suicide. Those suffering from negative outlooks on their body may feel like their self-deprecating views are normal, and it can quickly become a part of their core beliefs.
Q: Are there warning signs to look out for? What should loved ones or parents be aware of?
A: If you suspect that a family member or loved one may be thinking too negatively about themselves, it may be useful to take note of the following things:
How they talk about their bodies
If they deal in absolutes. For example, they may say something along the lines of “I have to look like this before I can feel good/attractive/accomplish something”
If they feel shameful about themselves and what they are wearing
If they continuously set unrealistic body-centric goals.
Likewise, once they achieve this goal, they do not feel better, or quickly set a new one.
Q: What are some things that a social worker, counsellor or therapist do to help?
A: A mental health professional can help to institute a daily practice of actively interrupting the pattern of negative self-talk. We can also help individuals to pinpoint where all their negative body image has come from. More often than naught, people can pinpoint where all of this started. We can help to discuss these instances, and the coded messages that were conveyed throughout. Therapists can also work at validating experiences and assisting individuals in carrying the heavy burden of body dysmorphia. Working to dynamically challenge outlooks and become a sounding board for thoughts and feelings can be especially helpful to clients.
Q: When is it time to see a professional?
A: If negative thoughts about the way you look surface daily, to the point where it consumes your thoughts and become obsessive, it may be time to seek some help. Thoughts such as this can quickly evolve into an eating disorder. It is pivotal to seek help before this happens, so that you can feel supported throughout your journey towards a healthier body image.
If you are the parent and you believe that your child’s health is going to be compromised, you have to seek medical attention. There is often a great deal of co-morbid thoughts behaviors that go along with body image issues or body dysmorphia. If you’re seeing extremely stark changes in your child and how they talk about themselves, it may be time to break open the conversation with them and third party (therapist/counsellor).
Depending on the situation, it can be just as important for parents to receive counselling if their child is struggling with body image. Many parents feel that they have let their child down, or that they should have known what was happening. Some body dysmorphia is born out of (often inadvertent) bullying in the family unit, and/or inherit the same body image issues as one of their parents or siblings. Parents may feel depressed or anxious that they have contributed to their child’s life in a negative way. It is important to seek help in this process for the whole family, as loved ones may need to be coached through this process and how to properly cope with it.
If the way you view and think about your body is negatively affecting your quality of life, OR you are the parent of a child and have been noticing that they are struggling with their body image and self-esteem, please know you are not alone.
Whatever it is, we’re here for you.
Life is uncertain. Jobs are stressful. Parenting is hard. Relationships take work. Families can be dysfunctional. And, sometimes love hurts. When you’re confronted by feelings, events, or issues that are making your life challenging, it’s okay to ask for some help.
